Yesterday I checked one Facebook group which helps companies to find freelancers for their usually small tasks. I didn’t find any job which interested me, but I found one man complaining about another freelancer. His issue was that a woman did blueprints for him and when he asked her to share work files, she refused because it was her intellectual property. The man was shocked and confused and she shared with the group his story so nobody would work with her. At the end of the post, he wrote: “I am thinking maybe it’s her principles or hormones or what could push her to destroy her reputation “. So it pissed me of…
I didn’t want to be silent and that is not okay to talk about a woman like that and in the end, she commented on his post with chat screenshots and she was right. They agreed that she will send him a specific file, there were a lot of changes from his side and she changed it without charging extra. In the end, he didn’t like the product because he didn’t know what he wanted and he blamed women’s hormones for that.
I responded to that Facebook message very politely and I read it 10 times before sending it because I was afraid that he will blame my PMS for being too emotional about this situation. I hated this whole situation, me being scared of sharing my opinion and hearing false statements about this freelancer women.
Probably the most humiliating saying at work is “Looks like someone’s on her period!” or “it’s the time of the month” when you try to make a statement, disagree with somebody or show at least a bit of emotion. It is so humiliating, but still so common.
From childhood I was taught that period is a huge secret and nobody should find out that I am on the period (which is again not okay, but it’s a different topic). But when you grow up, start working so many people are just talking about your period. PMS jokes are not funny when they intend to discount a woman’s potential and intelligence or just try to humiliate women.
I love a term which one blogger Rachel Grate found:
“There’s a term for when one’s perspective is dismissed: Gaslighting. To quote Wikipedia, gaslighting “is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory and perception.” So when a woman points out someone’s wrongdoing and they play the PMS card, they’re trying to make the woman doubt that she is able to properly assess whether or not it was wrongdoing. They are making her doubt the validity of her own perception. “
A woman on her period doesn’t lose her rationality and she is capable of making decisions. At the end of that story, so many people agreed with my opinion, but unfortunately not all of them. That freelancer did extra work without being paid and at the end was slandered.